is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fewer Insects, Still Dumb.

Fewer Insects, Still Dumb.

I thought I didn't need to buy a hammer, because there is a hammer in the house already. But then, once I had hammered the lead nail into the wall so I could pull it out and screw in a screw for a bracket for a shelf, I realized that the hammer that was in the house already does not have the means for pulling a nail back out. When I realized this I leaned my head back in annoyance at my own dumbness. And when I leaned my head back, what did I see? A SPIDER. It is like I am in my own exceedingly bad situation comedy. Someone should tell NBC about me.

I went and bought a hammer. Then, once I got the nails out of their lead holes, I realized, to my own dumb horror, that I DO NOT HAVE A SCREWDRIVER. This is what happens when you're 38, you've lived in the same house for 10 years, and you already own everything you need in the way of tools, cleaning supplies, spices and foundational foods, etc. You leave town for awhile, and you forget that you don't have all those things with you, and you are constantly amazed at your own harebrained idiocy. Upon realizing that I didn't have a screwdriver, I threw my hands up in the air, and what did that gesticulation draw to my attention? A FLY.

But their numbers are fewer, these insects, since the Day of Slaughter. So far no crunchy bugs have returned, and the flies are dwindling. The spiders, as I've said, are very industrious, but we might be able to strike a bargain at some point.

However, this morning, when I went to rinse out my cereal bowl, there was a spider skimming its way down from the cabinet above the sink to check out what was going on in the sink. I opened up the cabinet and realized that I had not closed it all the way the night before and the spider in question had made a web around a bowl.

I don't want you to get the idea that I am living in an Addams Family house or anything. This house is now very very clean. The spiders are trying to get it back to how it was when no one was living here for a long time. But they will not succeed. I now have an extending arm electrostatic duster that gets rid of all webs, all the time. I WILL WIN THIS PETTY LITTLE BATTLE, worry not.

Yesterday I went to an hour long seminar on how not to sexually harrass students. Today I am going to a library orientation. Then I'm going to Target to buy a screwdriver.

2:46 p.m. - September 15, 2004

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next