is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Juxtapositions.
Last week I went to see the documentary James Nachtwey: War Photographer. You should all go see it or rent it or something. It is a really profound look into what it takes to get those photographs. The most amazing aspect of the film is the way in which Nachtwey is not at all what you think he'll be. He's a gentle, patient, quiet man whose life mission is to do what he can to put an end to war. So he's a gentle patient quiet man who puts himself in life-or-death situations constantly and calmly takes beautiful and devastating photos. When you first start watching the film your kneejerk reaction may be to think that there is something wrong with photographing misery. But hold on and watch the whole thing. It's more complicated than that. I could say more but I think you should see it yourself.
When I got home from watching War Photographer I turned on the TV while I opened my mail, and Barbara Walters was interviewing all the stars of "Oceans Twelve." At some point Brad Pitt was saying something about how he never felt happy with himself as a kid so he turned to acting so he could be other people. A lot of the actors said that they, too, had had unhappy childhoods. (Imagine that! A teenager who doesn't feel certain about who he or she is!? Incipit tragoedia.) And Barbara said something like, "Here are all you beautiful successful people, and yet even you were driven by fears and sadness." And then, because of the juxtaposition with War Photographer, it struck me anew just how petty and meaningless are so many of the things we all spend so much of our time thinking about on a daily basis.
I took a great Polaroid photo of my car COVERED with ice, with icicles hanging off my California license plate: JUXTAPOSITION! But then I lost the photo. The morning of the photo Heidi and I were on our way to meet Chris and baby Noe at the yummy local brunch place Lone Wolf, when we encountered an ice-encrusted car. There was no scraping this ice off, either. We tried. We gave up. So we got in the car, put on the defroster full blast, and sat there marveling at how the windshield looked like a shower door. Then I got out and used the pointy edge of the ice scraper to score lines in the ice and break it up little by little. It took a LONG TIME. Heidi, who has been living in snowy Duchess County NY for a long time now said she had never seen anything like it. We were late to breakfast, but it was still YUMMY.
The other night Nassar and I had dinner at an Italian place. He took me out because I'm broke and he has spent so much time inside his apartment that he has a cash overflow. We had a good dinner and some fun conversation. As we drove home in the pitch black night, feeling tired, like it was the end of the day even though neither of us had said so, Nasser said, "Jill, I have to point something out to you." [pause] "IT'S 6:30!!!" At which point we both laughed hysterically. We both used to be hip late night San Francisco dwellers! And now we are heading home for the evening at 6:30, AFTER DINNER.
Earlier that day I had walked into Amherst center to look at some crafts fairs, because I have a soft spot for artisans and a need for exercise. Because I am a dumbass I keep forgetting that it is really cold where I live so I'll leave the house for a 2 mile walk without gloves or a hat. I am learning. In any case, I had on my big pink boots and my tweed coat, which pretty much made me a freak in Amherst. As I was walking up the stairs after arriving back at the homestead, Nasser came running out his door and said, "Oh. My. God. I was driving down the road, and I saw this person in this fabulous outfit. And I slowed my car down because I was all 'I NEVER see anyone in Amherst dressed like that.' And it was you." Me, Amherst Freak.
The other day as I was letting my car warm up I overheard a really burly workman say, as he walked out of my backyard, "Dead bodies in the backyard is just too creepy for me!". He was of course referring to the gravestones, not to some incipient CSI situation.
When UPS delivers around here they just leave your package sitting at the front door, and no one steals it. One day there was a UPS delivery for me, and I wasn't home. It was raining, and the UPS man was concerned about the box because he didn't have a plastic bag. So he brought the package to my work address. Because he knows where I live AND where I work. It was very sweet. It's funny how in the city that would be creepy (how does he know where I WORK?!), but here it is just very nice.
Heidi stayed with me for two days and I took her to the Bookmill! She loved it as much as I do. We hung out there for about three hours before I had to go hold office hours and she had to deliver a couch. Here's a cute outdoor holiday tree, and a photo of Heidi in the caf�. 
Eric took us to a really great bar in Northampton called the Tunnel Bar. It is built into an old railway station underpass, so it is a long thin room with arched tiled ceilings, dark wood accents, overstuffed chairs, and yummy cocktails. The photo on the website is way too well-lit and so doesn't do it justice. It's the kind of bar that makes you want to be in love. With something other than bourbon. Which is why it is a good thing that they also serve FOOD there.
Heidi's second night in town we went to Bar 19 in Northampton. I remembered the camera that night and took a lot of polaroids. Here is a montage of the only ones I am allowed to show you, because many of them made various of us polaranoid. The person you don't recognize is Viveca, an old friend of Heidi's, fellow professor of mine here in the Five College Area, and mother of baby Noe.
11:34 p.m. - December 09, 2004
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