is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.

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Football and Me. Plus: A Dinner Party and Photos.

Football and Me. Plus: A Dinner Party and Photos.

First, a bit of business. I changed the color scheme of the diary because I was tired of reading white on dark blue. So I changed it to black on light blue, with fuschia links, and checked the way it looked in a couple of different browsers. One person then wrote to say he could not read the link text, so I changed the links to dark blue. Let me know if you can�t read them.

Now, I have two football-related items for you. Yes, that�s odd. But keep in mind: I am as old as the Superbowl.

One: Nasser showed up at my door on Thursday and said, �Oh my GOD I am TAKING you OUT to dinner because I can�t wait to TELL you something!� By the way, here is a cute photo of Nasser and I.

So he takes me out to dinner because he wants to tell me this (get ready!): apparently the football team has decided I am hott. Not only that, but the quarterback of the football team asked Nasser whether I was straight (Nasser: �Please don�t tell me you are asking me that because she has short hair.�) and then asked Nasser�s advice on whether he should drop my class so he could ASK ME OUT ON A DATE. [dramatic pause.] I am not kidding. Upon hearing this I underwent a whole flood of contradictory reactions, such as:
1. alarm! (oy. many of these guys are in my class! for the whole semester!)
2. feeling-flattered. (huh! young boys think I�m hot. not just in that hotter-than-most-teacher-types way, but in the can-I-take-you-on-a-DATE way! who knew?)
3. qualified happiness mixed with alarm and sadness. (the only person who wants to ask me out in Amherst is a college student roughly 20 years younger than me. what does it all mean?)
4. confusion. (hey! why won�t anyone else ask me out?! dammit I am HOT. haven�t you HEARD!?)

Ha.

Anyway, Nasser�s reply to the drop-to-date question was: �She�ll never go out with you.� Or something like that. He has heard my whole thing about how the teaching relationship is a power relationship and power relationships aren�t sexy. Plus, being a teacher and all, I do have some ideas about sound pedagogical method, and it's not supposed to be horizontal. Now, you might say, well, he wanted to drop the class so therefore it's all ethical and shit. But it's not. He's a STUDENT. Etc. (Also, I'm not really sure who he is. Apparently there's a whole social milieu making itself known in my classroom and I am unaware. But of course all that means is that I am OLD, which we already knew.)

But wow! College seems more complicated here than at Berkeley where this stuff just isn�t allowed (not that it doesn�t happen there. It�s just that here it IS allowed, which is confusing but I suppose no less ethically challenging than the Berkeley standard, which people dodge all the time.).

Two: I just got back from watching the Superbowl with Tom and Jimmy. Here�s a cute picture of Jimmy. I am not kidding AT ALL when I tell you he is one of the cutest things I�ve ever seen. Plus he really likes dessert.

You know what? Football isn�t such a bad game to watch once you know the rules and some of the strategies. But wasn�t that the most boring half-time show ever?! Anyway, it was good to lay around on some fluffy couches watching a huge television and drinking some dog-hair beer (by which I mean that today I was a bit hungover from the dinner party Tom had last night for my friend Jennifer, who�s in town from Baltimore) and some yummy Kung Pao shrimp with steamed broccoli (Tom cooks all the time, and never lets anyone help, which is nice when all you want to do is lay on the couch and have food land near you). (Although last night the never-letting-help was just funny when Jennifer and I decided to help clean up and I had to run interference continually between J and T so that T would sufficiently let go of his need for the dishes to be washed in a different way, which I did by reasoning about how nice it was for J to be doing the dishes, hey look over there!, etc.) Here�s a photo of me, Jennifer and Alison (Tom apparently was camera shy).

Last night as I laid in bed doing my current normal not-sleeping thing, it occurred to me that even though it has been financially stupid to have two apartments on two different coasts, it has been mental-health-smart! Man. What would I feel like right now if I had no idea where I�ll be in the fall, and in addition to all that, had no idea where I�d be living this summer, or where I�d stay when I went home for six days at spring break? (I know I could stay with either of my parents, but, um, did I mention I'm OLD?) In fact, it is a good idea for anyone in a nine-month job in a far away location to keep some sort of home base on hand somewhere. As Nasser named it, it is simply an expensive form of therapy (and, really, given my rent compared with some therapy costs, it isn�t all that expensive).

My friend John has just informed me that I am still loved by him, and that he has a blog. Normally I refuse to use the word "blog." But I am quoting John, OK? He is a funny guy who loves me, but not in the way football players love me. John and I are just friends, OK?


11:22 p.m. - February 06, 2005

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