is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Bright Lights, Stuffed Kitty (Doubles as Catpack!).
Last Friday I went to the Senior Assembly followed by the Senior Dinner. I heard all kinds of stories of professors "getting with" students in the past. Grrrraphic stories. However I witnessed nothing of the sort. During the obscenely well-lit Senior Dinner (held in one of the gymnasiums, with all the huge light fixtures turned up to 11) I wandered around drinking wine and looking for familiar faces. At one point I ran into one of my non-senior students, who was working as a caterer at the event. We stood together and surveyed the scene for a moment. She said, "I heard that professors and students sometimes get together at this thing!!" I said, "I heard that, too. [pause.] I want you to know that Jill Stauffer is going home ALONE tonight." She laughed and then went back to work. I stood there alone, and what did I see? 1) A sea of scantily clad and formally clad young women, all of whom did not know how to walk in heels. 2) Lots of drunk boys, most of them in suits. 3) A few young misfit types, of the cute variety. 4) Many older people who must have been professors but whom I do not know. 5) Cruising of epic proportions--everyone seemed to be cruising everyone else, with the quiet desperation that manifests itself circa last-call at a bar, but, as I mentioned, in an environment with lighting much less kind. 6) More wine! across the room, towards which I navigated myself. Halfway there I ran into two students of mine whom I think may have been on DRUGS! And then, finally, 7) Tom! Someone I know! I talked to Tom for awhile. And then he had to leave. Because he is very smart. Then I ran into another student, and conversed for a moment about his paper. Then I set him free to go hoard some beer for dinner. Then I went to hoard some wine for dinner, and encountered more students. My, how I love my students this week. I really do. They have produced some amazing work for me this semester. I love them! But just as students, mind you.
The combination of youngness, oldness, bright lights and gymnasium-setting put into my mind two things: 1) the phrase "liquor is not enough!," which arrived in my head and then kept repeating itself, never clarifying what it meant, and 2) a line from Hal Hartley's film,Surviving Desire, when a bartender points out to Martin Donovan that the beautiful young girl he is with is a) Donovan's student and b) too young for Donovan. Donovan gives the bartender some idealistic answer for why things will work out--he's in LOVE. The bartender quips, "That's the problem with Americans. We all want a tragedy with a happy ending!" Ha!
You know what? I am certain that sometimes people who are many years removed from each other in age do meet, fall in love, and have lasting meaningful relationships. OK? It could happen. It could even happen to ME, right? Who knows? But I think I also know what happens MOST of the time when people who are many years removed from each other in age meet.
Luckily I then found John and Marisa and a few other people, and I sat down and had my catered meal with them, and that was fun. Still with the bright lights all this time, though! Marisa told me that usually the lights get turned down a bit during dinner and the wine flows more freely, but apparently last year there were some brawls and upheavals (frost heaves and arguments) and dramas, etc., so this year: lights up! liquor down! Oh well. At least I had a chance to wear my lovely 60s-esque swirly-fabric dress. Oh, for an occasion to wear a good dress! (Tom (after I removed my big black academic "regalia" judge-robe): "WHOA! That dress is WILD!" Me: "In a good way?" Him: "Oh, it works." I did not press him on the ambiguity of his response.)
On Saturday it was Sophie's Birthday Party! I made two cakes: one for the kids (Sophie just turned 3 years old) and one for the adults. The kids got a rainbow chip cake in the shape of a flower with pink and yellow frosting, and the adults got a three-layer cake--two layers of caramel-coffee with a layer of devil's food in between--with cappuccino frosting. Also, I got Sophie one of those backpacks that are made out of a stuffed animal. But with this one, the animal faces toward the body instead of away from it, so it looks like the animal is hugging you while you wear it! Hers is a baby tiger backpack, which, Alison reports, she has been calling her "catpack," which is great since she has a hard time with the word "backpack" anyway. Catpack!
After the party, Nasser, Peter, Alison (and Sophie) and I sat around on the couch eating pizza and drinking champagne (Sophie was NOT drinking champagne) and eating more cake until about 7pm. Then I went home and CRASHED. I was supposed to meet Marilyn in Northampton for drinks at the Tunnel Bar (she was in the Berkshires working on some festival that is upcoming) but I could not move off of the couch. Too much sugar and champagne. Plus it was raining. So we talked on the phone instead.
Late that evening, as I was stuck to the couch watching TV, I found an old Russian SMENA (crazy manual camera made for The People. The Hard Working Young Soviets. SMENA means "young generation." I could go into detail about why this SMENA is better to get than some other SMENAs, but you'd snore) on ebay for $30 including shipping from the Ukraine. The guy who sold it to me is even named Igor. I would have paid almost $30 just for the cool camera case that comes with it, black leatherette, embossed with the word LOMO in Cyrillic script. Ah, LOMO. SMENA is made by the same factory/firm that made all the LC-As which now get marketed for much cash as the LOMO cameras. LOMOs are much more expensive than SMENAs because they are much better cameras. But the SMENAs have certain design flaws that sometimes make really interesting photos, so it will be fun to experiment.
Also, LOMO (as it has been taken up by the U.S. and European hipsters) also just started making a tunnelvision lens attachment for the LC-A LOMO that I am hoping I will get for my BIRTHDAY. Or else I'll just buy it for myself someday. It's just stuff.
11:33 p.m. - May 09, 2005
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