is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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24-hour Date. Not Universalizing a Statement.
24-hour Date. Not Universalizing a Statement.
I really like a 24-hour date. I�m not talking about a FIRST date, mind you, unless it�s the kind of first date that you have with someone who is far from being a stranger. I tend to be not much of a dater, meaning that I always end up �hanging out� with people and then sometimes it becomes a �dating situation.� People are always telling me that I should do the internet dating thing, given my single status and the bad luck my attempts at dating of late have produced�. but there are multiple reasons why I am resistant to that, and one of them is that I am, like I said, not much of a dater.
Which is not to say that I would say no if some lovely eligible person asked me out on a date! That is always a nice thing, when someone takes that risk, of just asking for a date rather than calling it something else. I appreciate the boldness and the fragility that comes along with taking a risk like that.
And no, I am not saying that internet dating is bad. It has worked for plenty of people I know. I�ve tried it twice and met two nice guys about whom that is all I have to say. Nice guys. Never saw them again.
When I say I am not into internet dating, it isn�t a universalizing statement about the value of internet dating. In fact, we would all do well to realize that our own and other people�s value judgments don�t have to be universal/izing (by which I mean, they don�t have to apply to everyone), and therefore disagreements about them don�t have to be threatening. If I say I�m not into Internet dating, or even if I say I am horrified by it, it doesn�t mean that everyone has to agree, or that I have judged your embrace of the practice to be deficient. Things are always much more complicated than a yes/no good/evil answer could communicate, no? Sometimes we might want to make universalizing statements. But we should save them for the few moments when we really feel them. Most often, difference is not a threat.
But I was talking about dating. And dating is, of course, also all about difference. We want some of that.
I had a great 24-hour date over the weekend, but it was with Evany and Marco, so it wasn�t the romantic kind of date. The three of us just happened to hang out, with no breaks, from roughly 8pm Saturday until 11pm Sunday. And it reminded me that part of what I like about the 24-hour date is separate from any romantic content it might have. What I like is the time it gives people, or, more specifically, the time people give to each other when they spend such a span of it together. It is meaningful, you know? �even when (and perhaps especially when) it is time spent doing nothing much.
Evany and Marco and I ate Mexican food with the other members of The Morning Line, then we went to the Ivy Room and watched them play. Except that Marco was playing so he wasn�t only a spectator. We also saw two other bands, which were enjoyable to watch if also not exactly to my taste. The second band was visiting from Germany, and they were called Missouri, but pronounced it Misery. They all had big foreheads (when I pointed this out Evany said: �They should be called The Four Heads!�). They were very very sincere and serious, the way only a European or, sometimes, an American Intellectual can be. I don�t necessarily mean that in a good way, but I also appreciate it as a stance. The lead singer wanted to be Nick Cave but ended up reminding me most of the lead singer of the Tinder Sticks. Of the two I would prefer Nick Cave, because the Tinder Sticks Guy is too Precious. As was the Missouri Guy. But I liked that he had a sticker on his keyboard that said �Woodstock war Scheisse.� HA!
I slept on Marco�s couch, but not until around 4am, when Stephen and Dave/Sonny left to go to their own homes. In the meantime we had consumed bourbon and discussed Led Zeppelin and various 80s and 90s bands. It was a fun evening.
E, M and I all slept until 11 or so, and then we had a yummy brunch at a nearby place in Oakland. Then we walked around, sat on the couch, played with Daisy, took naps, watched TV, went to Fenton�s for ice cream, sat on the couch, and then we drove to Sunny and Leisa�s for dinner and TV night. We watched Catwoman, which was terrible Terrible TERRIBLE, but in a fun/ny way, plus there was pizza.
Ever since then I�ve been cleaning out the back room of my house and setting up appointments to get estimates about moving. I am supposed to be revising a paper right now, but somehow I feel like I cannot do so until I�ve TC�d at least some B with regard to moving. Summer is the busiest season for moving, and when, like me, you aren�t moving a whole house, you need to get your appointments set up early so that your stuff can get moved when you want it to get moved!
My dad called and I mentioned that I was going through ten years of packratted shizzle and he said something about how he would probably leave it til the last minute, and I was all, �given how much stuff I�ve hoarded over the last decade, I�m going to have to have a VERY LONG last minute.�
So next week I begin revising the paper, then I write up some questions for a Believer interview with Alison Young, then I begin prepping the fall course, and getting ready to start writing a book in the fall, and then it�s probably about the time of moving (mid-August). In the meantime I will have done lots of fun things, like go to the High Sierras of Yosemite, rage up a bachelorette weekend for Caroleen, hang out with friends and see lots of movies, and instigate BBQs-a-plenty in the yards of those blessed with yards. Summer!
6:02 p.m. - June 14, 2005
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