is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Puss Comes To Shove.

You know, Hans Blix (TCNTUNWI) has many good qualities, and I often really enjoy having his feline company. But he has been such a buttrag lately. I do not at all mean to say that anyone has been using him for butt-wiping. However, if someone were to knock on my door right now and ask, "by chance do you happen to have something with which I might wipe my ass?" I would say, "why yes, yes I do," and hand him or her HANS BLIX (tcntunwi). Then I would add, "IT'S DISPOSABLE."

He's back in his Massive Cattack phase. Just now I was standing in my bedroom looking into a drawer full of tank tops to see, hmm, what tank top will I be wearing for sleeping?, etc., boring, when who lunges and bites the back of my calf? For no discernible reason? HANS BLIX. My only guess is that maybe he's nervous that it's bedtime and I seem to have forgotten that before bedtime I have to walk over to the foodbowl area for one last session of a game he likes to call "pet me while I eat." I am living with Lucifurr.

Earlier today, while I'm typing up an assignment for my students, who starts putting his passive aggressive paw on my leg to let me know that soon he will lose all his passivity? HANS BLIX. Paw on leg always leads to ears-back anger and biting. And then who, after I push him away, walks around to the other side of me and tries to take a flesh sample from the back of my arm?

Who has spent all week following me everywhere (total Stalkerd Channing) and doing his strange "I am herding you" routine whenever I appear to be walking into a room that does not contain catfood or cat toys? In case you've never lived with a herding cat, allow me to explain. Let's say I'm walking from the living room to bedroom #1, but HB would prefer I enter bedroom #2, where the bird toy lives. As I'm walking toward bedroom #1, HB will run up alongside me on my right and do a strange jumping up and down pushing of my legs with his flanks to try to get me to turn left instead of right.

And who likes to come up behind me while I'm washing dishes and sit there quietly until I step back and onto his foot or tail, so that he can then cry out in pain or launch a counter-attack at me?

I have no idea what evil forces forged this disturbed cat's psyche during the first five years of his life. However, as much as he loves the bird toy, I think I have to banish it from the house. I think there is actually a correlation between his bad behavior and damnably alluring presence of the bird toy.

Luckily my boxes of holiday gifts shipped from CA have arrived, and one of them contains the funny gift my dad bought for HB called "electronic cat exerciser." It is a large mouse that you can send around the house on its own, and it waves a long tail into the air. I think the idea is that cats will love chasing the tail of this strange oversized plastic mouse. I haven't even opened the box yet but I am guessing that HB will find it TERRIFYING. And to me that sounds hilarious.

11:59 p.m. - February 02, 2006

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

the latest

older than the latest

random entry

get your own

write to me