is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Misty Coupon Mountain Hop... for Bras!
I haven�t written anything about brassieres in quite a while, have I? Well, things are the same in that neighborhood. I�m still very happy with the VGCU, Vanity Fair�s Very Glam Contour Underwire. My old standards, Vanity Fair�s Illuminations, have somehow stopped doing what they are supposed to do, so I�ve had to move on. Unfortunately, as is often the case with me, and not only with bras, I�ve moved on to something that�s not so easy to find. Illuminations are everywhere, but VGCU is elusive. And, of course, when I do find VGCU, they have every size except my apparently �difficult� size. I think I must be destined to view bra shopping as a great quest, an epic journey, a timeless tale of the battle between ideal and compromise. So recently, in a fit of desperation (some REPLACING really had to be done, STAT), I googled VGCU and found a place selling the bras online. Unfortunately the place is called Big Girls� Bras. The url is actually www.biggerbras.com, but the site and business are called Big Girls� Bras. Someone needs to talk to someone about the brainstorming session that came up with that name, because I don�t think there is anyone in the world other than maybe a 12-year-old girl who wants to say she shops at a place called Big Girls� Bras. But here I am, sending you there, because they have a good selection and everything seems to be in stock and I can even send you to a place where you can get a 15% off coupon to use on the site.
My friend, you must journey to the great Coupon Mountain, where a fanciful wizard will grant you your dearest wish, to save 15% on a large garment of great utility. But do not tarry in your quest, for you must act before the year 2006 has left us in its wake.
Anyway, after I made my initial order from Big Girls� Bras, I woke up one night in a sweat-of-terror thinking that I had had the package sent to my work address. I often have my shopping packages sent to my work address because the UPS man in these parts has for some reason decided that the door bell system at my home address is just so dang complicated that he just leaves me a slip that he stopped by to say hi without even trying to see if I�m home. And then if I miss him all three times, I have to take a 50-minute drive to a UPS facility that is ridiculously difficult to get to. Anyway, I�ve told you already about how there is NO ANONYMITY here, with regard to mail, etc. So I woke up in the sweat-of-terror that I had just had a package from Big Girls� Bras sent to the QuakerBubble mailroom, where I would have to go pick it up from a room full of men who are always aware of where I�ve been shopping.
Then I remembered that I was smart enough to have this package sent to my home address. And then when it arrived, its return address label said only BGB. You see, you are safe. Once you have made the epic journey to the great Coupon Mountain, and made your way through the forest of Big Girls� Bras, emerging well clad with technologies of the breast, your identity as a wearer of large garments of awesome functionality will be kept safe, much like when you order something from Good Vibrations and the return label says merely �Open Enterprises.�
11:44 p.m. - October 24, 2006
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