is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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The Jill Whisperer.
I�m just now back from this year�s visit to the eastern conference of the American Philosophical Association. It�s where you have to go if you are on the job market. As far as I can tell, almost no one actually enjoys the conference. No, it�s more like a gathering-point for anxiety and arbitrary shows of power. However, my time at APA this year was much better than last. For one, I had more interviews this year, they all went well, and none of them were peppered with moments of awkwardness or odd aggression or anything other than what you�d want from a job interview: the honest attempt of some people gathered into a room together to see whether I might be good for the job they need to fill. I actually enjoyed all the conversations I had in the interviews!
I also had some good conversations at receptions and late-night gatherings on Thursday.
But, more importantly, a very cute boy took a 2.5 hour train ride just to spend a few hours with me in Washington DC on Wednesday! He was there waiting for me when I arrived! It was hot, and moving. I still am silently asking myself in a fairly constant way what I did to deserve such lovely treatment. So we had a good date, so good that he actually managed to make me forget I was at the eastern conference of the American Philosophical Association for a few hours. And then I still got enough sleep to wake up ready and willing for the next day of job interviewing.
Lots of things always remain unsaid. Others are unsayable.
When I got home tonight, Lionel was gone. He had managed to work his way through the cat-scratch-pad that blocks the old cat door (he�s not supposed to go outside anymore). (Prescient feline! Did he somehow know that I was making out with someone else?!) My mind was full of the kind of panic that comes from being the reason why someone�s beloved pet is missing. However, he does love food, so I�m guessing he�ll be back. That isn�t stopping me from opening the back door and calling for him every 15 minutes.
On Tuesday night, before I took off for DC, Heidi, Liz, Leah and I went to Zuni for food and cocktails. In order to get there I had to walk down the 800 stairs between where I am and the castro, and then five long blocks down Market, in the rain with a broken umbrella. When I left the house I felt cute but by the time I got to Zuni, not so cute. However the first thing Leah said when she saw me was how great I look, and then we fell into fun catching-up conversation, and all sense of uncuteness was left in a deep deep past unaccessible by present consciousness. It was fun to catch up with everyone. And it was also fun to see them all wearing necklaces I made for them! Liz and I even laughed our way through an impromptu performance of some parts of the Justin Timberlake dick-in-a-box SNL short, because Leah and Heidi had not seen it.
Now I�m sitting in Roderick and James� bed, watching my third straight hour of Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. I think I have a crush on him. My heart, she is so wulnerable of late.
About twenty minutes ago Lionel came home, a-meowing at the back door. He ran very swiftly over to his bowl of food. Now he�s sleeping on the bed, as if nothing untoward ever happened.
I tried to read Gilles Deleuze�s book on Nietzsche on the plane, but found that I was braindead and exhausted, so I read an entire issue of Cosmopolitan (now I know 10 new ways to please "him"�the generic "him" of Cosmopolitan�how to dress for spring, and the Bedside Astrologer has promised that January will be a good month for me), an entire issue of Vogue (turns out, Angelina Jolie is still incredibly hot, and Prada shoes are still exceedingly hot but way too expensive for me), and then listened to some music on my ipod while doing the airline magazine crossword puzzle.
Camper Van Beethoven and Cracker play tomorrow night at the Independent. I had messages from Jonathan and David waiting for me when I got off the plane. It will be fun to see them� I think it has actually been more than a year since I last saw David!
11:57 p.m. - December 29, 2006
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