is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Don�t Future-Fuck Yourself.
I�ve been working all day, still in my pajamas, work work work. However the working has been punctuated with much phone calling and instant messaging because I WAS OFFERED A JOB and even though I haven�t told very many people that yet, some people heard about it from the few people I did tell, and then those other people called me to TALK ABOUT IT. It is all very encouraging and exciting and I will hold off giving you details until I have something in writing, etc. Let�s just say it is good news.
So, today I was instant messaging with Heidi on Yahoo Messenger. I recently signed up for Yahoo Messenger (and downloaded it to my SK as well) in addition to AOL Instant Messenger, because a rock star friend of mine won a battle of wills. He�s all, Yahoo Messenger Yahoo Messenger and I�m like AIM AIM and apparently I�m weaker and I caved so now I have both. And, strangely, the minute I appeared on Yahoo Messenger people who don�t IM me on AIM very often started IMing me on YM. Novelty!
Anyway, Heidi and I were discussing job-related things and life and love related things for both of us, and I was admitting that getting a tenure-track job seems more serious and weighty than the one or two year positions I�ve had; they always feel temporary so, even though they are full of opportunity and such, they still allow a space wherein a person can keep for herself a reserve of �I�m not really doing this.� But hmmm, I guess I�m really doing this now. You know?
The job I was offered is in a great location. A great location that is not San Francisco. But still, I�m not allowed to complain about how great the job I�ve been offered is. But it means that on some level I don�t live in San Francisco. Sure, you all know this already. But there�s a way in which I DON�T KNOW THIS. And that makes the future feel wonky.
So that, and another occurrence wherein a good friend of mine revealed to me that she was really worried that we would fight about something and I was all �why would you worry about that, have I done anything to make you worry about that?� and she�s all, �no, but it might be coming,� and Heidi cut in and said:
SHE�S FUTURE-FUCKING HERSELF!
Which is a brilliant code-phrase that comes from the mother of two great men I know. One time when we were all in college together, Heidi and I and these two great men, Heidi was going on about something that might go wrong, and Irene (mother of said men) just looked at her and said, �Don�t future-fuck yourself.�
Irene never wasted words. No she did not! I am sure she probably still never does.
It was great advice then. It is great advice now. Because: RIGHT NOW IS THE ONLY MOMENT IN WHICH YOU ARE LIVING. Live it well, my friend, and do not future-fuck yourself.
In other news, one of my favorites, David Strauss, who lives in Berlin, is currently blogging his way through the Berlinale, aka the Berlin Film Festival. It promises to be entertaining. Check it out. And don�t forget about my current favorite music blog. It kills me with its cutely hot smartness whenever it happens. But really, in bloglandia of late, I am really loving this cute little post of love posted by my sister about her lamb. I can�t pretend to understand the mathematics involved in her love equation, but I do like the idea of a steamy hot integer. The idea, yes. And its sweetness rivals this lovely ode to Marco authored by Evany. But when it comes to heat, romance, and ideas, numbers just don�t enter into it for me, nor do green on green sneakers. I mean, I'm a continental philosopher. And so I simply call my Valentine Best Ever.
...Even though on Valentine�s Day I�ll be in another city, naked in a hot sauna with Heidi. She�s my Valentine, too, for reasons I�ll maybe explain in a little post I might just call �And now� A Very Special Episode.� (Evany and I pooled our blogging for dollars money and got me a ticket to SF. Evany is too good to me! She is my Valentine, too!)
12:04 a.m. - February 08, 2007
carol - 2007-02-11 21:16:20
Congratulations (from a stranger) on the job offer, which I am guessing is in NYC. Best of luck for your next chapter in academia.
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Claverack Weekender - 2007-02-11 21:55:58
Wow, wait when did the comment feature get enabled?
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jill - 2007-02-12 01:32:51
i figured out the comments thing today, sunday feb 11, around 7:43 pm EST. hello, dear cousin!
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