is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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The Shape of What Is Not There.
I have lost half of my left eyebrow again. (My left. Your right. And you�re right, very little is left.) And we were doing so well! In fact right now, my right eyebrow, for the first time in years, is pretty much right there, fully grown. It looks normal without the aid of cosmetic disguise. Whenever I examine it, it fills me with the thrill of success, as if I had accomplished something. But then there�s old lefty. A week ago it was almost normal looking, and then one day I woke up and the hives were there and the hair was not, and I�m now left with one-half of a left eyebrow.
If you see me and I have not used cosmetics to attend to my deformity, you would think there was something off about my face, but you wouldn�t be sure what, precisely, was off, if I didn�t point it out to you. You might think I am making, fairly constantly, a demurely sardonic facial expression in your direction. Or you might think I look paler or more sickly than usual. But I will not be joking with you, nor am I ill. I am merely differently abled in the area of eyebrow growth. This is what happens sometimes, sometimes on its own, and sometimes simultaneous with the now-semi-famous �alligator eyes� affliction.
One time a friend of mine in New York recommended to me her eyebrow shaper. You know, lots of women in New York pay people to do their eyebrows for them. And I�m sure it�s worth the money, because all their eyebrows look, well, money. But it made me sad when I got this recommendation because you just know it was one of those diplomatic well-intentioned things wherein this friend of mine had been noticing how differently abled I am in the area of the brow, and she thought if I could pay a professional it might solve all my problems. Unfortunately it�s just not true. No one can shape what isn�t there. (Dude. Am I BLOWING YOUR MIND right now, or what?) Also. I just can�t take the humiliation of going to a brow shaper to be told that there is nothing to work with.
So I soldier on, muddling through this less than perfect life, with my less than perfect face and its differently abled brows. I console myself with the fact that much of the time people are amply distracted by my breasts. (It�s a joke, and it�s also true.) Perhaps there�s something to the brute fact that I can no more hide the amplitude of my breasts than I can the nonexistence of my left eyebrow. Here I am. It is what it is.
5:10 p.m. - March 09, 2007
MatthewB - 2007-03-10 10:39:29
Jill, if half of your left breast disappears, I promise to notice right away.
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jill - 2007-03-10 13:32:43
Thank you, Matthew, for assuming that awesome responsibility.
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