is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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21x2 without fanfare. plus: luxury items, and my COUSIN.
it's almost birthday-time chez-jill and once again I seem to be not having a party. that strikes me as way-too-bad this year, as it is the year on which I turn 21x2. I could get doubly raging drunk, or have double the parties, or make everyone drink doubles, or wear an outfit that gets constant double-takes, or at least have an excuse for a rager at which I sip wine and enjoy the company of friends. 21x2 may mean wisdom in drinking choices (or not). but no. I'm not sure why. I'm feeling the desire for a party but not the willingness to organize and shop for it, let alone spend the money to pay for it. there are parties going on this weekend that I'd like to attend, but i'll be in montreal working. boo hoo.
but worry not. the ever fantastic gus is taking me out for a good meal on my birthday, and that will be fun, especially since by then I won't have seen him for almost 2 weeks! i miss him.
on thursday I had one of those outfit-crisis days, because of the range of things I had to do. first I went to meetings. one was to discuss general education (those requirements that have nothing to do with your major) at my college, because I am on the gen ed task force. then I went to the meeting where my new course proposal would finally be officially approved by the governing body of the college. done. the president of the college even paused to say that my and the other proposal approved were good signs of where the college is headed. all good. then I worked on a paper in my office for that conference in puerto rico I'm attending in june. then there was a college cocktail party in honor of an english prof who got a pulitzer. so far normal jill-teaching outfits suffice.
then I rushed downtown to meet my cousin for a meal before we rushed off to a charity event for which he had tickets. the charity event had a high ticket price and requested cocktail attire. we all know I can rock cocktail attire, but none of that works in meetings at my college (where attire tends to be divided between tastefully bland and in-need-of-WNTW). so day and evening were spent looking not quite right, due to my compromise outfit.
at dinner adam and I talked about lots of things, including how no matter how much money you have in new york, you feel poor. he has a lot of money. he brought up the topic.
this is a constant struggle for me. here's the drill: I see a coach purse. or prada sunglasses. I want them. I feel like I should have them, and that the purses and sunglasses I own are all inferior and also render me inferior in the eyes of discerning new yorkers. of course I can't really justify spending that much money on a freaking purse, or even sunglasses, because let's face it I work for a public university and I'm in debt.
but then, I'm not so sure having a coach purse is even a good thing. I mean, it's a wealth statement in a seriously fucked up country when it comes to economic injustice. do I even WANT one? why am I even thinking about purses I never wanted before I lived in new york? and so on.
it's harder to say no to the sunglasses, or the frank gehry earrings from tiffany.
my point: in san francisco I didn't have these thoughts. (my) people there care much, much less about these things, or at least these things are not as in-your-face as they are in new york. that is something I've been saying for years about why I love new york but wouldn't want to live there....
I live "there" now, and I find myself unthinkingly wrapped up in the status struggle more often than I'd like to. at the cocktail/charity event I was checking out a woman's earrings, liking them. then I realized they were the beautiful earrings the architect frank gehry designed for tiffany which I've coveted since they first appeared. but they cost $500 (I'm talking about the double orchid drop earrings, for those in the know). waaaay out of my range of possibility. and further: how can that be justified?
I think it's fine that some things are precious and expensive. the earrings might be worth that much, not because of the materials they're made of (silver) but because of their exquisite design. a coach purse? I'm less sure about that. I don't fully understand why I want one, when I'm also repulsed by the whole phenomenon of $300 (or $500, and so on) purses.
there's one nutshell of new york.
I could always buy a knock-off of the single orchid drop earrings for less than $100. or maybe even the double orchid drop necklace, the authentic one, for $250--less impossible but still not smart given my current $ situation. it's summer, I may not be making enough money to really get by in new york (I'm talking about bills and rent, not necklaces), and I need to join a gym because physical therapy is ending.
I was thinking that I might join the equinox gym (closest to where I work) but when I saw that a 3 month membership had a minimum bid of $700 for the silent auction at the charity event, I realized it's probably not in the cards! oh well. there are other gyms.
meanwhile back at the charity event my cousin adam and I, along with some friends of his, are having a grand old time with the "free" booze and people watching. there was a lot of talk about things I don't really know or understand (they all work with money aka capital in some way). then talk turned to marriage and family. they all are married with kids. i thought to myself: it's strange how very far from the norm one (aka I) can get without really having made the choice to do so. anyway, one guy talked about how long it took for his wife and him to buy the next-door apartment where the neighbor died, so they could expand their lodgings. 2 years. new york stories.
then talk turned to how you can tell if people are really in love when they get married�meaning, are they in love, or are they just following a pre-set path? (this topic was brought up by a guy who until then had mostly talked about strategy-stuff, so I liked this revelation of new facets.) my cousin suggested you could tell it's love if the groom says, "HELLS YEAH!" for his vows. I laughed really hard at that, given the setting we were imagining, and I'm still laughing, not only because it was hilarious but because it was a perfect stauffer-joke, for two reasons: one, it was slightly to the side of the context or sensibilities in which it was declared, and two, he also felt compelled to emphasize its funniness by spelling out HELLS and repeating the phrase with the same enthusiasm. I felt like I was watching myself, in a good way. (you know how sometimes when you're around family you can feel like you're watching yrself in a bad way. you know.) all of which made me think: my cousin is great!
and now I'm in a very cute hotel with huge half-circle windows taking up a full wall of my room.
posted by sidekick3 in montreal.
3:56 p.m. - May 16, 2008
Vermont Cousin - 2008-05-17 16:32:47
Have you watched the BBC documentary "Century of the Self" about consumerism, democracy, and engineered consent? It is conveniently available for free at Google Video and well worth the time. It tries to answer your question about why people desire to consume as well as how those desires might be manufactured.
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js - 2008-05-19 00:14:41
nope, i haven't seen that one, but it sounds good, from your description. however, to clarify: my point wasn't that i'm mystified by consumer culture (given that i'm good at telling myself how meaningless so much of it is, even when it gives pleasure. oh, and i teach political philosophy, and sometimes even learn from it, too, heh). it's more like, why does NEW YORK make me unthinkingly think i want things that i don't want? is there something in the water? oh, wait, should i be drinking more expensive water? (ha.)
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