is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.

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tcb, xmas eve.

by the way, in case you're wondering, I did get all that stuff done, and even would have made it to my dad's on time for xmas eve if it hadn't been for the injury accident on northbound 80. I was about 40 minutes late. but so was my sister because we were on the same highway. no harm, really. we hung out, had a nice meal (lasagne, salad, garlic bread, and later, cake) and everyone got good presents (for instance, i got a blue ipod nano from my dad, and a box of recchiuti chocolates from my awesome cousin adam, plus some marc jacobs perfume and the new
book of susan sontag's early diaries, etc.).

ok. well, I didn't quite finish the paper. but I did have a breakthrough where, after a number of miserable almost tearful hours of self-loathing, bargaining with self, and hatred of life, writing and academia, I took huxley for a walk and, while walking, realized that I do have something to say on the topic, that it is pretty simple but worth saying, and that I had most of it down already. I just needed to focus, edit, and flesh out a transition section.

the problem had been not that I had nothing written, but that I couldn't get past the sense that what I had written just didn't need to be said. and I don't want to be one of those academics who writes and publishes just to pad her resume while remaining safely unchallenge-able in her thinking.

it can hurt a bit to be challenged, but it is a sad writing life for the person whose writing makes no one mad, or at least skeptical.

so I picked up huxley's crap, came back to the house, typed up the idea and a rough outline, made a lasagne, wrapped some presents, started packing to move from the dogsit to a house swap, drove to the voice of witness project to sign some legal documents, went to a wonderful meal at beretta with liz, evany, caroleen and heidi (oh, how I needed that!), came home and baked a cake, then collapsed and watched The Soup and Sarah Silverman on demand.

xmas eve morning I woke up, snuggled with the dog, made some frosting, stripped the bed, laundered the sheets, cleaned up the kitchen, wrote cards to my family members, and worked on the paper before loading up the car, moving stuff to my house swap, and driving to my dad's. the paper is still not done but is now officially do-able.

the backstory is that I wrote the paper over the summer, then got it back with comments and a revision request. my original idea for the paper clearly wasn't working for the editors of this journal. it's not because the idea is bad. but it's ok because I was able to save the part of the paper I like most and use it in the book I'm writing. it needs more space than 6000 words.

actually, I need more space than 6000 word in general, when I'm doing philosophy. you can't do much in 6000 words and apparently I like to do much. but I can compromise.

it is sad and ironic when people who write political philosophy cannot compromise. it's like they missed something vital taught by their very own field.

in other news, I have an interview with tom dumm coming out in the next The Believer (January issue). I picked up a copy when I signed the legal papers, as VOW shares quarters with The Believer and McSweeney's. It's a good interview if I do say so myself. I think you would like it.

now it's time to stop thumb-typing, get out of bed, and see what santa brought for me at my mom's house!

ps-- sorry, no links. it's the whole sidekick thumb-typing thing.

posted by sidekick 3

8:53 a.m. - December 25, 2008

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