is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Perfect Shitstorm.
I used to get really bad migraine headaches, in my 20s. I suspect they were hormonally triggered. I don�t get them very often anymore. But I have always been thankful for the flashes of light that invade my vision some time before a migraine hits, because that always tells me that I need to do these things, right away: take one tablet of Excedrin (which is a wonderful combination of aspirin, Tylenol and caffeine), one tablet of aspirin and drink at least one can of pepsi (extra caffeine). If I do those things, I usually end up with a totally manageable headache instead of a debilitating I�m-going-to-go-lay-in-a-dark-quiet-room-with-my-head-under-a-pillow for a few hours kind of headache. In fact, it has been many, many years since I�ve had a debilitating headache.
Just the other day, on Saturday, Gus and I were driving from Haverford, PA to Rye, New York, to attend a memorial for an aunt of his who passed away recently. It would normally be a 2.5 hour drive but it stretched out to 3 or more hours due to some heinous traffic on the cross-Bronx expressway. Anyway, we�re somewhere in New Rochelle when all of a sudden I get the most intense visual disturbance I�ve ever had. Like freaky crazy disturbance. Like it puts the �disturbing� back in �disturbance.� It�s not just some pretty flashing reminder that I should take some Excedrin. No, instead I have a crazy jagged C shaped thing in the center of my vision, both eyes, whether my eyes are open or closed, and it is shimmering and all lit up�like some sort of story a medieval knight would tell about God inspiring him with a flaming scimitar�and zagging back and forth and shit. Freaky. I couldn�t really see anything I looked at directly, and I could hardly read (which was a problem because I was supposed to be giving Gus the directions).
I couldn�t find my Cliq, so I asked if I could borrow Gus� iphone, and I start trying to figure out on the internet whether I need to tell Gus to take me to the emergency room. I of course have not said anything to him about this yet because that is how I am, I like to isolate the panic until it is identifiable or something. He�s all asking: �what are you looking for?� because he�s not dumb and I�m ignoring him and he�s waiting. Anyway, the first search term I type in is �wavering line in vision.� So I get a bunch of results about how Nancy Pelosi keeps changing her mind. Doh. So I try �wavering line in eyesight,� (keep in mind I�m doing this while I can hardly see and I�m using Gus�s damned iphone which HAS NO KEYBOARD so I keep making typos) and quickly see that Google wants me to learn a lot about macular degeneration. Ugh. So I try �sudden wavering line in eyesight� and after some strained reading pretty much reassure myself that what I am undergoing is called a scintillating scotoma, often associated with the onset of a migraine, especially in people with a history of migraine. So I figure I�m fine unless it doesn�t go away in a reasonable amount of time. The Excedrin seems to be helping by the time I get to this stage anyway, so panic subsides, I tell Gus what�s going on, and that I need some food and Pepsi stat, but that all will be well unless I tell him otherwise.
But in the meantime I still have other migraine-onset symptoms like nausea and weariness and sensitivity to light and sound, and this is right before the beginning of what will turn out to be SIX AND A HALF HOURS OF FAMILY CONTACT. A perfect shitstorm of bad timing.
I walk into the yacht club where the memorial is, and quickly figure out where the bar is. I ask for a Pepsi. They give it to me and they�re all, do you want a lemon, and I just grab the glass and say, �no, I�m just going to chug this and have you refill it.� Sometimes you just have to let yourself look crazy.
Oh, also, the hormones. It�s that time, when I�m crazy with hormones (which makes the migraine make more sense). But it�s also precisely when adding a lot of caffeine to the system is not a good idea. So about 20 minutes later my rack is hurting like you can NOT believe. So I add to my drug and caffeine mix one tablet of Midol Teen (which is a combination of ibuprofen and a mild diuretic, which decreases bloating aka rack pain). (The teen version of Midol doesn�t have any extra antihistamine in it, which is why I buy it. I already have an antihistamine that I am almost always using.)
There is no way anyone with a combination migraine and breast pain at someone else�s family event is going to care if she should take aspirin, Tylenol and advil at the same time, OK?
That pretty much takes care of everything, except for feeling totally exhausted by it all. The memorial service is really nice. I really liked Gus� aunt a lot. I always looked forward to seeing her at their family gatherings, so it was sad to be at one of many where she will no longer be. But it was a really nice event.
Then there was a dinner that took a very long time. Then we had to drive home for 2. 5 hours and all the headlights were blinding me. Then I slept for a very long time, and today things seem back to normal.
Tomorrow I�ll call the doctor and see if he thinks I should do anything. I doubt he will. It just seems like a particularly ill-timed bad version of migraine onset. But there you have it, my weekend.
8:33 p.m. - March 28, 2010
Angela - 2010-03-30 02:37:18
It's a bad pun, but I feel your pain. :-) It only took one migraine for me to begin paying attention to the flashing lights and dizziness that are my signal for an oncoming assault. I have to be careful not to over-compensate and get a rebound headache, because the fear of another migraine makes me very nervous and prone to do too much, too soon.
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Sarah Lilley - 2010-04-23 01:07:32
Jill, I get migraines too (ever since my early 20) and I've had that crazy lightning bolt electricity visual thing once. It was different than the typical migraine aura -- that one is kind of like the fuzzy gray spot you get in your visual periphery when you've been in direct sun for too long. The electric zigzag happened when I was in the middle of a meeting at WNYC and it totally freaked me -- thought I was having a stroke or something. 5 years ago. Hasn't recurred again yet. Yet.
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