is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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are you saying I'm fat?
One time I was at a big academic conference in Vancouver, BC (that's British Columbia, not "before the time of Christ"), and I was walking around the hallways of a large hotel looking for the room where the panel I wanted to attend was scheduled to be held. (Really? That sentence needed that many words? Sometimes English sucks, or maybe it's just me that sucks.) All the rooms had ocean-related names because, get this, Vancouver is near the ocean!
Anyway, as I was trying simultaneously to navigate a crowded hallway, read my program, consult the hotel map, hold onto my purse, the official conference tote bag, a pepsi and a couple of books, and figure out which way I should be walking, a friend of mine stopped me in the hallway with a question. This guy, my friend, was someone I knew from a Heidegger reading group I had been in for years. We liked each other, and had a shared love of bourbon and off-color jokes, but we weren't totally close friends, which is why what happened next was at all possible.
He said, "Do you know where the Orca room is?" And I said, "ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT?!" because to me there is nothing more hilarious than joking about how women tend to be obsessed with weight and men don't know how to deal with it. I mean, he basically was trying to say that I looked like a whale, RIGHT?! Hilarious. But he thought I was serious and started stammering reasons why that was not at all what he was saying. Which was a new kind of hilarious, yes. But I had assumed he would know I was joking--a different kind of hilarious. Maybe I should be bummed that he wasn't clear on that right away? Not because of him--he's no dummy or anything--but because even though he didn't know me that well, I guess I would have wanted it to be clear to anyone who ever encountered me, however briefly, in the history of the world, that I would never interpret an innocent search for a room named Orca as an attack on my uncontroversially non-fat body condition. But such is the reality of the world in which we live that of course he would err on the side of thinking I am insane. Because all this bodyfat stuff is INSANE.
In other news, I am on a diet. It is a diet that involves white wine, brownies, exercise, and reasonable restraint with regard to unhealthy food choices.
5:22 p.m. - September 30, 2010
John - 2010-09-30 23:11:39
Wait. This makes it sound like you gave up Pepsi, and I am fairly certain you haven't given up Pepsi.
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js - 2010-10-01 20:44:50
no. i have not give up pepsi. i have one every day. Every. Single. Day.
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Matty Stone - 2010-10-02 15:16:04
That is funny.
I like to think of myself as someone who can diffuse an uncomfortable situation with a joke, However, I think I might just have crumbled in the same way.
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