is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Blind.
Blind.
If you don't believe I was blind about what I'm about to reveal, just read yesterday's entry. Today Mr. Perrone dumped me. Details irrelevant. I didn't see it coming. In fact I don't believe it's true. I think he was lying about most of the things he said. That is how much I don't believe it is true.
However, it is a fact, even if it is not true.
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I will be OK. I'm not angry. He is not a terrible person. I'm heartbroken, disappointed, hopes dashed, all that. But we're all old enough to know how these things go, aren't we? There's a lot I could say about what it means to hope for love when you've lived long enough to see hopes broken so many times. Things are different for those of us nearing 40, for better and for worse. Optimism is involved, even when optimism seems to be so freaking unfounded. I could say a lot about that. But right now I'm going to sleep instead. Perhaps more later?
Evany told me of the hazards of writing about romance in an on-line diary (everyone knows about the good things, more will know about the bad, etc.). I see her point a bit more clearly now. But I have no regrets. Everything I've said was true, and still is.
11:29 p.m. - October 11, 2004
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