is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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one bad reason to be ee cummings.
My sidekick died. It was dramatic. First it turned me into ee cummings (both Gene and Chris bore witness to this), then it broke up with me.
Two days ago I was instant messaging, simultaneously, with Gene and with Chris, when all of a sudden every time I typed an �o� it would be accompanied by a hard return. So this innocent statement, typed to Chris, �I love a lap photo including both a stripper�s head and a book,� turns into this:
I lo
ve a lap pho
to
including bo
th a stripper�s head and a bo
o
k.
(Chris and I had been instant messaging for some time about how some of his bandmates had hired a stripper to strip for them in the van. Then the stripper for some reason fell asleep with her head in Chris� lap�and no, he didn�t even get a lap dance out if it� of course I asked�so I told him to take a cellphone photo and send it to me. When he sent it to me I could tell he was reading a book, there with the stripper�s head in his lap, which amused me, and also struck me as So Very Chris. The book: Carl Sagan�s COSMOS.)
Things escalated quickly. Soon not only the �o,� but also the �f� and the �g� were causing hard returns to occur, and not just in the instant messaging programs but in every screen, such that this statement to Gene, �A second date can be fun, or good, even when you aren�t sure where it might go,� becomes this:
A seco
nd date can be f
un, or g
o
o
d, even when yo
u aren�t sure where it might
g
o.
Then random spaces started inserting themselves, such that everything I typed ended up looking like this:
f
eeble a blu
r of cr
umbli
ng m
oo
n(
poor shadoweaten
was of is and un of
so
)h
ang
s
from
thea lmo st mor ning.
(ee cummings.)
Then the little roller-clicker thing that allows you to get into any given screen stopped rolling and clicking (or, to be more exact, you could roll it and click it all you want, but nothing would come of it). I restarted my little love. Nothing improved. I let her rest for a day. Nothing improved. I went to troubleshooting sites. Nothing improved. I went to T-Mobile and ascertained that since it has been so very long since I bought a new cellphone (according to their records I�m still using a Sidekick ONE, not the lovely Sidekick II that has served me so well lo! these past years) I qualified for both an upgrade discount and a rebate, so that instead of paying $500 for the Sidekick 3, I am paying $200.
Still, it won�t get here until 5-7 days from now, and that INCLUDES paying $10 for express shipping. Luckily I can still access all the data in my sidekick through the interweb, because if I couldn�t, how would I know what time my dentist appointment is tomorrow, or what anyone�s phone number is, or a host of other important things?! HOW?! Sidekick II! Since you left me, mine eye is in my mind; And that which governs me to go about doth part his function and is partly blind! (�my great apologies to Shakespeare.)
In other news, Gus finally drove me to figure out how to make the DVD player work with the lovely widescreen TV, and then last night we watched the shit out of some Deadwood Season One episodes, thanks to the lovely gift of the CD box set sent to me by ALISON YOUNG. Gus and I are both totally hooked, and just in time for that time of year when we should be grading papers instead! Purrrr-fect.
It was a great ending to a weekend during which I mostly had a good time except for a period of hours during which I dropped into an abyss of deep sadness caused by an uncontrollable confluence of stressful factors (some only imagined). It passed. But while it stayed at least I had some meaningful time with my 20-year-old songwriting boyfriend Will South. He�s one of those who, every time he tries to write a happy song, it fails miserably, but when he writes of love�s misery, o! the precipitous and over-dramatic height of it all.
Also, as you will have gathered by now, I have an apartment in NEW YORK CITY. The Prospect Heights, Brooklyn part of NEW YORK CITY. It is mine as of May 15, but I have the keys right now. I am all paid up here in the QB through the end of May, and I probably won�t move until then, because the packing and coordinating, and the end-of-semestering, will take some time.
What this means: lots of work for me but, more importantly, for the first time in my ADULT LIFE, I won�t be in San Francisco for my birthday. This fills me with some sadness, and also some worry that maybe that will depress me? However, I do have a Gus, or, to be more specific and give credit where it is most certainly due, THE Gus, and today he asked me, all unprompted, and also while there were cornmeal pancakes in my mouth, oh lovely moment, what we should be doing for my birthday, and it occurred to me that having him take me out somewhere where I might wear a good dress and hot heels, what with his handsomeness there at my side, that�s probably all I need.
Later in the summer I�ll get some Quality Time in with my peeps in San Francisco. And I may even be lucky enough to have The Gus on my arm for part of that time, too. Given that, would it not be a terrible slap in the face of good fortune to worry and be sad? Especially after I found the perfect apartment in New York after looking for only two days? Let me never be accused of hubris! And so I embrace my good fortune.
1:55 p.m. - April 29, 2007
meow - 2007-04-30 00:43:26
the last 2 paragraphs had me wondering if you were the 4th bronte sister. but then that would mean i would be the 5th, and we both know that is IMPOSSIBLE! meow. love u!
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jill - 2007-04-30 09:34:22
correction: one other time, in my adult life, i was not in san francisco for my birthday. i was in VIENNA, AUSTRIA, with the wonderful richard zach, who gave me a very good birthday celebration indeed! we saw massive attack, and we stayed at a cute hotel even though we weren't "away from home," and he bought me a very lovely ring that i still wear sometimes. that was my birthday, and it was during this adult life of mine. i remember.
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