is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Stick a Pin(Up) in it.
I am so stressed out right now! Many factors are contributing to my lack of sleep and my panickiness and my feelings of dread and edge-of-tears demeanor. I am moving on Monday. And I have to be out of town Thursday through Saturday. And I'm not done packing. And I don't get paid until September. And I won't be living in the same city as my Gus. And what if I miscalculated how much money I'll be making and will end up broke all over again, doing more work? And I think too much.
So what does Daily Candy send to me this morning to distract me? The thought of myself as a pinup girl! There's a lady photographer here in Philly who does pinup photos stylized after all my favorite Gil Elvgren paintings. She's having a one-day special on June 3 (um, the day before I move, and so totally out of the question, not to mention that if I were to spend $275 right now that would be so amazingly foolish, not to mention that for my new apartment I need a kitchen table and a bookshelf, and some other things, and who knows when I'll be able to get those considerably more important things, etc.), but still! Look at her photos by clicking on galleries and then classic pinups.
OK. Maybe I wouldn't even really want that. (Maybe I would!) But since I often dress with that in mind, and since that marks my idea of a certain kind of sexy (clothed, suggestive rather than overt, not emaciated, etc.), it sure is an appealing idea.
But then what? I give the photo to someone? Or, worse, hang it up in my house!? Ha.
Man, just writing this has calmed me down considerably, to the point of laughing at myself.
Also. I know that this whole pinup-girl thing I have contributes to the "Jill's off to have sex in the city" myth. WHATEVER. Some people will say I'm a bad feminist. And they will be part of what's wrong with feminism, wherein differences of opinion get treated as ideological divides rather than being seen as a register of how diverse feminism has to be if it is to be anything other than the newest (and yet not so new) bad idealist universalism.
And why am I not packing right now? Ugh. Here I go.
Oh. One more thing. Caroleen sent me a tshirt for my birthday... I got it in th e mail yesterday. It features two chocolate bunnies. The first one has its tail bit off and is saying, "my butt hurts." The second has its ears bit off and is saying, "what?" Ha. MITTENS!
10:55 a.m. - May 30, 2007
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