is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Bionic Rudolph.
Last night, when I was writing the diary entry about building-a-bear (aka reindeer) in the form of Rudolph the red-nosed, I was assuming that a Build A Bear Workshop was a place where you, well, build a bear! Literally. I am literally a literalist, I guess. I was really into the idea of having a friend of mine make me a stuffed animal, because then the stuffed animal would be slightly imperfect (not to impugn the bear-building skills of my friends, but sewing an animal form is not so easy, you know? ...DO you know?), which would be utterly lovable, and also totally in line with the "island of misfit toys" aesthetic of one section of the narrative of RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER.
But apparently a Build A Bear Workshop is a place where you buy a pre-made stuffed animal, already stuffed, and then stuff it into some ridiculous clothing. Like Rudolph as gay central park skater dude. Or Rudolph in ridiculous pajamas and... slippers with reindeer heads on them? And so on. That seems totally lame, given that I like my stuffed animals NAKED. Sure, I may be a woman in her 40s who still loves stuffed animals, but even I know it is ridiculous to put them in CLOTHING.
HOWEVER! Thanks to my good friend Bunny aka Colleen, this morning I noticed that you can add SOUNDS to your Build-a-Bear product, probably in the form of one of those squeeze things that gets inserted into a paw (hoof) or chest of a pre-stuffed animal. So, while the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer theme is a good choice (and, really, the best sounding sound they have), there is also a whole world of misfit-toy possibilities awaiting us. We could install Rudolph with a cat's meow, a cow's moo, a lion's roar, or the "magic" sound. Actually, given how totally lame the cat, cow, and dog sounds sound, I think I'd have to go for magic or the theme song.
My heart sank quite a bit for the youth of today when I clicked on the "Hip 5-in-1 sound." It's a chip that randomly plays one of 5 "hip" things a built bear might say to a child (or an insane adult). And here they are: "Hey Girlfriend!" "It's great to have a new friend like you!" "Let's go shopping!" "You look great!" "You are too cool!"... all in the voice of some (seemingly) dumb valley girl. Ugh. Don't even get me started on the "I love you" and "giggles" sounds.
But I love you in Spanish is pretty awesome. Not because it's in Spanish, but because it isn't in such a sickeningly sickening vocal tone as the English "I love you." If I were a combative space alien listening to this selection of sounds, I'd quickly conclude that all the English speakers on earth should be murdered first.
But, really, the Rudolph theme is the most awesome, sound-wise. So it would have to be that or "magic" sound. Which dashes all my "misfit toy" dreams Quote from RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER (the heartwarming holiday special, not the reindeer character): "We'd love to be loved by a child!" "But I'm a cowboy who rides an ostrich!" "And I'm a train with square wheels!" "And I'm a bird who swims!" I say: AWESOME! (See Horses.) But all those strictly normatively minded kids apparently say: NO WAY.
But don't worry. Rudolph is somehow going to fix all that... TONIGHT, on CBS at 8pm.
10:02 a.m. - December 04, 2007 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RZ - 2007-12-04 11:43:42
At least it's not "Math is hard!" Maybe you should call the BLO
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meow - 2007-12-04 14:05:55
When you go the store, you get to stuff the plush carcass with the plushy stuffy stuff. This way they are stuffed to your satisfaction. The animal can come naked; the clothes are optional and you do not *have* to buy them. Why do I know this? Ouch.
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