is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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Do you think Mr. Clean is the Brawny guy's type?
When I was sick I was for some reason very susceptible to television advertising. There were, of course, those dark 24 hours or so when I was so sick that I couldn't do anything, including sleeping and watching television. All I could do was lay on a surface and wish I weren't so sick. But then there was like a whole week when I was slightly improved but still so sick that all I could do was watch television, sleep, or stare off into the distance without thinking about anything.
Anyway, susceptible to advertising, I was. And since I ordered some groceries during that time period, I actually bought some of the stuff that I saw advertized. Like a frozen pizza that is supposed to taste like it isn't a frozen pizza (a failure, or a misleading claim, and anyone who believed it in the first place is probably more to blame than the people who put together the lies that end up in the commercial). Or some sugary cereal (tasty! but still way too sugary and sodiumy for a grownup such as I am reported to be... still, since I was also feeling nauseated for most of the time I was ill, I welcomed anything I could eat that didn't give me a gag-reflex, and that included the frozen pizza and the sugary cereal and the boxed macaroni and cheese. I think this means that when I'm sick my tastebuds revert to age 7.).
And I also bought, under influence of television advertising: Carnation Instant Breakfast! Oh, what a lovely beverage. It is a meal replacement that you mix into milk for a yummy chocolately slightly malty flavor. Perfect for someone who is lazy, sick, and currently unable to eat much (me then). And also perfect for someone who is simply lazy (me now).
But the main focus of this report on things bought while ill is this: The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It is a sponge-like thing that promises to remove even the toughest dirt and grime without much effort on the part of the sponge-wielder. And let me tell you, Mr. Clean does not lie! That Magic Eraser cleaned the shit out of my bathtub like no one's business. My bathtub is so clean that it is, dare I say it, ASTONISHING. It shines with a brightness rivaled only by Mr. Clean's polished bald head (not to mention his one gold earring). The Magic Eraser is so, well, magic that I may end up breaking up with my old bathroom-cleaning BFF the Black and Decker Scumbuster. The Scumbuster is, still, an amazing invention, and I'm sure I'll still use it for getting scuzz out of hard to reach corners and grout and stuff. But who needs to wait for an appliance with rechargeable batteries when you can just buy a Magic Eraser for like $2? I mean, who knew Magic could be so affordable? If I were single, and Mr. Clean weren't so obviously gay (shiny bald head, gold earring, tight white t-shirt, come on!), I'd ask him on a date and buy him dinner to thank him for his Magic.
What do you think? Does
plus
equal true love? Or are they from incompatible subcultures, and thus destined to remain apart despite their shared love of clean, and men?
It doesn't matter to me. Live and let love. But I will say this: the pick-a-size (um...) "big roll" (whoa! Robert Plant alert!) Brawny towels, with their thirsty O's (iykwim), are indeed the best towels out there. I have stopped buying the cheaper paper towels because of how deeply I appreciate being able to choose a tiny paper towel instead of a huge one. And all Brawny had to do to gain my customer loyalty was change the frequency of his perforations. It's not magic, but it sure is great.
3:30 p.m. - April 19, 2008
natalie - 2008-04-21 18:16:32
OMG That magic eraser is totally awesome. I love that thing so much! It removed red wine stains off of our wood kitchen counter. Amazing & Magic!
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