is the word 'diary' better than the word 'blog'? probably not.
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�Where you find me grasping at racks.
Why do white brassieres exist? Maybe one of you can enlighten me on what is for me an age-old question. In my mind they exist only for women whose partners have naughty nurse fantasies. I know that some of you are thinking they exist because light-colored garments exist. But if you�re going to wear a sheer shirt you shouldn�t wear a white bra. You should wear a taupe (or whatever qualifies as roughly �flesh colored�) bra. If you wear a white bra it glows through the shirt like neon under blacklight, so that you seem to be saying-without-speech �hey look, I�ve got my tits in a bra!�
(Related question: where are all the bras that are �flesh colored� for people who aren�t Caucasian but also don�t have really dark skin that could wear a black bra as roughly flesh colored? I�ve done a lot of bra shopping in my life and there aren�t that many brown bras out there. Are there special stores for this? Or is the bra industry racist?)
There is this phenomenon at Macy�s (where, if you have a Macy�s card, there are so many sales and coupons, rebate programs and �lingerie clubs,� that they basically pay you to shop for bras and underwear) where you buy two bras and get one free through the mail. But the one they mail you is inevitably white. That is the only reason why I ever end up with a white bra. If I really really need a new bra and all they have is white, I�ll just walk away. It is too sad to contemplate. But every now and then I send away for my free third bra and whitey arrives in the mail. If you have largish breasts like me, there is something so dispiriting about that garment. It looks like the Denver airport made out of stretch foam and bad nylon.
When I think of white bras, I think of two things: 1) taking baths in my maternal grandmother�s guest bathroom in Mentor, Ohio, with her HUGE white bras drip drying over the shower curtain rod. Those bras were amazing, and very very utilitarian in their approach to rack-covering technology. 2) an episode of VIP when Pamela Anderson had to show that she was surrendering to some thugs, so, enterprising woman that she is, she took her white blouse off and waved it in the air. That left her with a huge white shiny satin bra, in the brutal Los Angeles sunlight. I feel traumatized just recalling it as a mental picture. I�m surprised she didn�t cause any car wrecks with the glare, or planes to fall out of the sky.
Thing is, I�m no fan of �flesh colored� bras either (and, really, even if you are Caucasian, the �flesh colored� bras tend to be about the shade of a band-aid, and I can�t imagine that looks good on anyone). I own a couple, �in case of white shirt.� But pink is a better color. Or light blue. Even better (once you realize you never wear white shirts anyway): red, navy, polka dotted, lime green, cobalt or zebra-striped. I�d love it if I had a rainbow of bras. Back in my 20s when I wore a B-cup that is just what I had. I had the cutest bras ever! But when you wear a D, things change. The industry seems to decide that a bra can�t be cute while also doing all that heavy lifting. And so you choose between white, taupe and black. Oh, the sadness.
At Macy�s recently I was elated to find that the bra style I tend to wear the most now comes in Navy and Red. In great excitement I grasped at the rack (yes, that is totally what she said), looking for my size. But my size was not there. And it wasn�t even there in black, though there were plenty in taupe or white. (36D, check. 34C, check. But if you wear 34D, forget it. You are a liger, part lion part tiger, and most people think you don�t exist, even though you�ve been on TV.) I asked the lady whether there were any in the stock room. She said �there are no navy or red, but there are some in black. How many do you want?� I said, in my voice of defeat, �two.� At least with my combination of coupons and lingerie club certificates I only paid $18 for $60 worth of brassiere.
10:35 a.m. - April 24, 2009
sduckie - 2009-04-24 17:19:09
Poor little liger! :( I'm sorry they don't make colorful bras for you... I feel the same about knee-length boots and having a big calves. I can never find any for me.
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